Saturday, June 18, 2011

The truths that make my heart beat and my soul burst

In Him I am a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. And boy, is the new an exciting thing to get to know!

I have been thinking a lot lately on what my old heart looked like and what the new one looks like. It makes me want to praise Him. Almost every day. All of the old me felt trapped, stuck, buried, sinking, trapped. Mostly trapped. Trapped in the lifestyle pattern of living to please others. Living to say the right thing. Living to do the right thing. Living to have talents. Living for my next wittiest statement that would make me sound pretty cool. And, a lot of times, living to make it through an event awake (well, sometimes still now... staying awake isnt exactly my forte;). Living to finally understand who I am.

And now, now I see that I didn't really know where to look. I jut kept wondering; who am I? And the only thing I could base that off of was my most current shining moment. That cool thing I did was who I was for the time being.

Then, now this is what makes me want to shout. Makes me want to sing all day long. Stand on a roof top and jump up and down and raise my hands in the air.
Is just that. Everything before that was so dull, so asleep, so... odd. Can anyone reeeeeeeally take that and make it want to dance? Is my God really that amazing? Is He really capable? I know sometimes I still hit the doubts, when I stop trusting that that is who God is and who He has made me.

But, I'm ready to tell the world that my name is Charissa Dowdy. I used to be afraid. I used to worry. I used to stress. I used to be depressed. I used to be pretty lame.

And now, I'm still a lot of those things. ;P but! I have a Jesus. And He was always right there with me. And now He's made a breakthrough to my heart. One that makes me sing, dance, and jump in my heart all day long. That noise that is going on in my heart often comes out in laughter, smiling (I've been blessed to hear that I "always sound like I have a smile"), and often very odd words that don't often connect to the current situation. And I am grateful and full of praise for that heart.

Now, I could sing, I could dance, I could shake my booty for my Jesus and my Father who is in Heaven! And with His Holy Spirit that He has givenme to protect me, love me, care for me, walk with me, and always be with me so that I am never alone!

That Holy Spirit, He's a true Friend. :)

Now, why do I keep babbling? Because my heart is dancing. I'm sure if the doctor brought out those hearing devices, he'd hear my heart bouncing around in my rib cage. And then if they scanned my brain, there would be lots of colors flowing down to my spine. I'm sure its even the cause for this little tiny guy that got stuck somewhere in my bone. Now this little tiny guy stuck in my bone really likes to hurt whenever I'm sitting down. All the time. I think maybe he's just one of those colors and he doesn't want me sitting down! He wants me to stand up and shake like my heart wants to! So, I think I'll try to be grateful for that bit of pain he gives me.

But, here I am to say, that all I want to do is dance and sing and worship You, Jesus!

You, my God who is so true. So real. So alive. So indescribable. So big. So omniscient. So sovereign. So friendly. So loving. So right. So wonderful. So beautiful. So lovely. So zealous. And so, so great!

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